“And my kids, they don’t help either...” | Rodney Dangerfield

“What a doctor. I called him last week. I told him, ‘Doc, I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills.’ He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.” | Rodney Dangerfield

“So what? So let’s dance!” | Rodney Dangerfield

“In my neighborhood there’s always problems. On my block there’s a beautiful children’s zoo. Last week four kids escaped.” | Rodney Dangerfield