Area man Timothy Berg, 70, has been called before the elder board to “explain his actions” after word got out that he’s just been put on the waiting list for a hip replacement. “I hear they might have ...

Attendees at a local Mennonite church will be on their best behaviour from now on as the church has blown their entire budget to hire English rock band Coldplay to help identify sinners. “This is a ...

Rumours are swirling this week after area man Dave Dueck demonstrated an insufficient level of enthusiasm for the Conservative Party of Canada. “Everyone else has Ted Falk signs popping up like weeds, ...

It was an embarrassing moment for two androids at a Björk concert this week, as they were caught in full embrace on the kiss cam. “I really don’t like to embarrass people or even robots, for that ...

Beloved blue-haired mother-of-three Marge Simpson will be buried this week in a family plot near Herbert, Saskatchewan. “We ask that the public is respectful at this time of mourning for the Simpson ...

Blue Jays staff have been working overtime getting Rogers Centre in tip top shape for their opening day tilt against the Baltimore Orioles. Most pressing for the staff was cleaning up the hundreds of ...

So, recently I used the word Schekjbenjel and I was shocked to discover there were more than a few readers who were unfamiliar with this term! So, I have decided to make a glossary of frequently used ...

The L.A. Dodgers are thanking a Mennonite baseball fan this week for dropping his delicious cottage cheese perogy into the outfield, which cost the Toronto Blue Jays a potential series-winning run in ...

German athletic wear company Adidas has finally responded to the growing population of Aussiedler Mennonites in the country with the introduction of a new line of long denim skirts. “You can’t really ...

They’re the hottest Chilliwack cover band on the circuit and they’re heading straight for the main stage at the Fraser Valley Mennonite Brethren Festival of Music and Arts this weekend in the ...

A trucker’s convoy-worth of sunflower seeds are on their way to Toronto this week to meet the demand of baseball fans in the GTA. “We’re basically just having them dump it in Sankofa Square,” said ...

Area man Larry Enns, 51, normally swears off sports completely, but for some reason is really into the Blue Jays this evening. “I’ll be on the edge of my seat,” said Enns. “Rance Mulliniks is playing ...